To Be a Grasshopper

I've been a tree hugger since an early age. My backyard was a forest of pine... old stumps became kitchen sinks, chunks of moss made a velvety carpet under my toes, and blankets and dolls were dragged across the crumbly forest floor as I set up house amongst the towering turrets.

If I wasn't in the trees, I was edging the pond, capturing tadpoles to bring home as pets, anxious to see if tiny legs would sprout and fish would turn to frog.

Oh, and the caterpillars and ladybugs. How I adored these creatures...feeling so protective as I gave them new jar homes and fed them grass and clover...even if the caterpillars never morphed into butterflies before I set them free and the ladybugs eventually flew away...I enjoyed their short stay, and hoped that they appreciated my hospitality.

How comforting it is to know that even now, as a big kid, I can still plant myself in the middle of a meadow and be consumed with my simple surroundings for an hour or more and not realise how much time has passed. My toys might be more expensive, as camera lenses and tripods have replaced Cabbage Patch dolls and plastic dishes. But the time spend in nature, the fueling of the imagination, and the simple bliss of an uncomplicated afternoon makes me feel like a child again.

Wind, Sand and Dance

A little spontaneous magic appeared before me on the beach. This sweet couple just dropped their things in the sand and started dancing...their music of choice, surf and wind...their love for each other was unmistakable.

When you stumble upon moments such as these, when you don't see them coming, and they just quietly present themselves to you, how can you not feel that the beauty in this world is absolutely everywhere, and hopelessly uncontainable? Life is SO BEAUTIFUL.

I can't help but think about my brother when I watch this movie. As an artist, he is always seeking new ways to explore the world around him. He is in the midst of a creative project. He has decided to fall into silence for an unknown period of time and learn to communicate with the people around him in different ways....deeper ways...connecting without the distraction of language. It must be challenging. And he is no doubt learning a great deal about himself in the process.

And even though I am not in silence myself, I find myself noticing how much more there is to connecting that goes so much deeper than simply conversing through words. I watched these two dancing and not only did I get a sense of how they felt for each other, just by the way they were moving with each other...but I could also feel myself connecting to them as I shared this fleeting moment with them on the beach. And if it were possible to actually see connection in a tangible way, I believe I would have seen strings joining this couple to everyone that surrounded them on the beach that day.

How many people strolling the beach paused to watch their graceful twirls? How many smiled and felt a wave of love pass through them? Am I the only one that passed this story along? Who else on the beach was moved by this beauty and felt a subtle rush of seeing something extraordinary?

What a wonderful feeling... to be a part of something... a connection among a beach of strangers.
Not one word spoken. And through this experience I gain some understanding about my brother and why he feels the need to find meaning in the silence. There are as many ways to connect as there are drops in that magnificent ocean...language is only one of them.

Trail Blazing

Never follow someone else's path;
it doesn't work the same way twice for anyone...
the path follows you and rolls up behind you
as you walk, forcing the next person
to find their own way.

~J Michael Straczynski

Ain't that the truth.

I have been away, treading some new paths, busy as a summer bee.
That letter I wrote to Fear gave me my power back, and I feel I have the upper hand...for now.

I have decided to put 100% of my energy towards growing my little photography business. It is time to take a few giant leaps of faith. I have been taking the slow and steady safe route for long enough, with slow and steady success, but I need to come out of my turtle shell and become more known as a photographer. I am ready. And I feel more sure about it than I ever have before. It's quite astounding what can happen in your life when you put fear in its proper place....in a little box on the shelf where it can be seen and acknowledged, but completely contained.

So, I am ferociously working at my computer, any free moment I can capture, while the dishes pile up in the sink and the garden fills up with weeds, and my life becomes a bit unbalanced...for the short term.

And you, my dear dear friends. I think about you all the time, even though I am not visiting much. Please forgive me for being such a stranger. I am a sporadic blogger at the best of times, but during this time, I need to stay focused and on track so I can have everything ready for the spring and summer photography season. I am creating a whole new look for myself...new logo and website... and when it is ready, I can't wait to share it with you! I will try to pop in from time to time to say hi and see what is new and beautiful in your world. I do not want to lose my connections with all of you who keep me inspired and full of love for life.

I haven't been a complete stranger. Earlier this month I was given the opportunity to write a guest post over at Relyn's beautiful blog. What fun! I have never done that before. She is filling the month of April with passions, and if you know this beautiful soul, you know that she is glowing with passion, no matter what she is doing in her life. I just adore her. And I thank her so much for inviting me to share one of my passions.

There is so much to do.... but the excitement inside of me is keeping me going. So I must get back to work, for the path ahead of me is full of unknown twists and turns...but it is looking exceptionally green, I must say.

Much love and well wishes to you all.
I will see you soon.
xoxoxoxoxo

Dear Fear...

I know that you are there.
And I know that you are too stubborn to leave me alone.

But I also know that you reside inside my brain.
And the bigger, more powerful part of me resides within my heart, the source of love and all good things. And that part of me is even strong enough to love you.
Because in a lot of respects, you can be my ally.
You tell me where the danger is, and you help me to avoid catastrophe.

But...I have learned that sometimes, my well being is not in your best interest. Sometimes, when my heart feels strong, and I am full of passion for what I am doing in my life you will do whatever it takes to fill my brain with doubt.
You deceive me.
Sometimes I don't catch it right away and I fall for your tricks.

But not today.

So, Fear.... I'm sorry I don't have more time for chit chat. I need to put my work boots on and start building my dream.

So move over and stop buzzing in my ear like a pesky little mosquito.

Or I'll squish you.

Interlude

Go gently into the next hour and see what becomes of it.
What is calling to your senses?


Catch the eye....

The tulip trees are blooming. I saw one yesterday with pink blossoms the size of small cabbages! More bloom than branch.

Have you ever looked deeply into your own eyes through a mirror? How intricate and complex the colours are.

Listen in...

Slip into a bubble bath and imagine a miniature tap class as the tiny bubbles pitter patter all around you. Sink under the surface and listen to your heart's rhythm. It is telling you how much it loves you.

Indulge in a nap and take notice at the way things sound so far away as you drift into dream.

When your cat purrs next to you, tell me it doesn't make you feel reassured...that all is well in this moment...this delicious hour.

Breathe deeply...

Smell the soft sweet fragrance of cherry blossom, or the ocean salt, or the fresh white breath of snow.

What particular scent can rouse your nostalgic memory? lavender....crisp clean sheets....manderin oranges...lilacs...a pot of pasta sauce bubbling and burbling...spring rain.

All in good taste...

Squish a caramel on your tongue. Crush a grape...a pomegranate seed and savour the flavourburst. Absorb the sugary sand of a pear.

Warm cookies and milk...can anything in the world comfort like this combination can? Especially when the chocolate chips are still melty and all over your fingers gooey.

Connect through touch...

Pluck a magnolia from its reaching limb and sweep its delicate petals across your cheek...a blooming kiss.

Let the wind play with your hair, let the waves chase your feet, let the rain tickle the tip top of your head, let the sun warm you from the outside in.

In awe...

Don't forget to engage your sense of wonder as you bring into awareness this hour and all of its gentle enticements... this beautiful hour that can feel eternal when you succumb to the richness of the world around you.