Monday, November 30, 2009

I am...

I am...

...turning 36 on Thursday, and while my body is starting to feel grumpier as I stumble dizzily out of bed in the mornings, my mind feels like it has never aged a day past 12.

...a believer in way too many things that really aren't true, and not enough things that are worthy of believing. I need to get that bumper sticker that says *you don't have to believe everything you think* and stick it on my bathroom mirror as a constant reminder.
Which reminds me of another bumper sticker I saw once that said *I believe in dragons, good men and other fantasy creatures.* lol!

...incapable of keeping succulents alive. I either water them too little (cause I think that they are designed to be neglected) and they shrivel up into nothingness, or I water them too much (cause I don't want another brown shriveled plant) and they fall over in their heaviness and snap. It shouldn't be that difficult, really.

...a tear factory when I cry AND when I laugh. I walk out of funny movies and live comedy gigs looking like a train wreck.

...a child again when I smell play-doh, crayons, cut grass, pumpkin guts, cedar or douglas fir, and when I hear approaching trains, eerie wind sounds through door cracks or *Stayin Alive*.

...constantly at war with the part of myself that yearns for connection and the other part of me that craves solitude. I am a social introvert.

...contradictory in other ways too... I am always cold but I hate the heat. I am a lefty when I write and draw and a righty when I play golf or tennis or hockey (which is almost never) and ambidextrous when I type.

...wistful, emotional and goosebumpy and often moved to tears when I hear this piece of music. The full version is a sweeping, soaring 24 minutes and evokes in me flashes of euphoric imagery, like cryptic fragmented scenes from a dream that you can't quite grasp, but you can feel.

...always traveling to the same places when I dream, although the events are different. These are always places that involve water...the same lake, strong raging river, waterslide or even a ski hill.

...tickled green blue and orange by the serendipitious accident that happened over at The Four yesterday. Read the words under the second set of pictures and you will see what I mean.

This is where I am at 35 and 362/365 years of age.


  1. I'm trying to remember being 36. I had an 8 year old and a 6 year old, so I was probably lost in the shuffle somewhere. They are now 25 and 27 and I still feel like I'm 17 inside. I don't think that changes. The body however does need a bit more recovery time than it used to. Enjoy your are at a fun age, even if you don't know it now!


  2. i don't know where i am stuck but 12 feels about right or maybe 21, depending on my mood.

    love this ... love. xoxox

  3. I am still laughing about the Stayin' Alive part. :) Happy happy happy birthday, you wonderful woman, you.


  4. I'm 12 inside, too. That's exactly the age I almost always feel. I turned 42 this fall, and it was more important to me than 40. I hope 36 is magical for you!
    xoxo Gigi

  5. one of my favorite posts i've ever seen... not just on your blog. on any blog.

    this is one of my favorite of your photos. beautifully abstract. perfection in colors.

    and this is hands down some of my favorite writing from you. honest. whimsical. relatable {if that's a word.} inspiring.

    i identified with much here. but i have to say, i'm always cold. and i LOVE the heat.

    i've said it before. and i won't stop saying it. you should write a book. but i'm glad you at least have a blog. it's like a perpetual book, i guess.

  6. Wow Jaime - so many good thoughts there. While I too have to stretch a little bit remembering age 36 when I am nearing 45 - I truly feel no different on the inside then I was at 17 years of age. Perhaps just a bit wiser. Just the outside packaging is way different! :(

    Love the thought of "I don't have to believe everything I think."

    Beautiful colors in your picture!

  7. beauty in honesty, tender in the acceptance of things that cannot and should not be changed, sweet, hopeful and lovely. all of the very best and the happiest of wishes for your upcoming birthday. may it only be topped by the beauty of future birthdays.

  8. Happy birthday, in advance as I am relocating and will be tied down and may not have internet access. I celeberated my birthday, last Saturday - Nov 28 and am slightly older than you. But I was telling my friends that my mental age remains a nice 8 years old. I call myself a wondering wanderer on an inspirational journey called life. You remind me so much of me, I write with my right hand, paint and doodle with my left and type with both hands, sometimes I get mixed up between right and left.
    Have a great year ahead.

  9. I think you are perfectly wonderful right where you are...right this very minute... and starting another year will gracely add more fantastical dreams to the path that you are making for yourself....

    this life is yours...jump into it always with both feet and when those birthday numbers get a bit bigger, you can always jump ON them and squash them a bit, if you feel you need to settle them down just a tad....they tend to be silly, those bigger numbers and well, they are quite happy little buggers....

    aging can be so much fun as long as your knees don't hurt !!

    so the happiest of birthdays to you, you sweet blogging girl you !!

    ps...I really loved your list of YOU !

  10. Happy Birthday!! You are a sensitive creative soul..with an extraordinary talent with words and images!!

  11. First, happy, happy birthday to a dear friend of my heart.

    Second, what a wonderful, perfect post. (I use too many commas when I write, don't I?)

    Third. Well, I'll put that in another comment. I love you, my friend.

  12. You Are

    a visionary that causes me to dream
    an artist with a lense and light
    a profoundly gifted wordsmith
    a pure and gentle heart
    a poet and a dreamer
    a much-loved friend

    Happy birthday, sweet Jaime.

  13. Where the Sun writes in subtle lights.... that rare sweetness comes to touch, opening the morning buds, delicately flowering for the eyes to see how the very same light dances for thee!!

    Happy bithday J.

  14. you, my friend, are an amazing young lady. Happy Birthday!

  15. It's taken me a while to catch up with you, so belated Happy Birthday wishes. 36 was a long time ago for me, (twenty years ago!). I was enjoying the beauty of living in the countryside and giggly tousles with my 6 year old. What a wonderful post Jaime -and thanks for prodding me to think back on some lovely times.

  16. i am wishing you the very happiest of belated birthdays my friend! actually maybe being late isn't so bad. maybe it will just mean that i wish a the very best birthday year. you seem more like a 5 year old to me in your enthusiastic love of life. 12 is so on the cusp and you my dear are the pinnacle! i love that bumper sticker. *you don't have to believe everything you think* perfect mantra!
    xox love and kisses

  17. happy happy happy birthday. I wish you the most wonderful of years.

    there are so many good thoughts in here that I don't know what to comment on. I am a righty for writing and drawing but a lefty for gold and hockey - and that always puzzled me. Especially since I won a righty hockey stick once and could never use it. And Stayin' Alive! Yes.

    but this photo reminds me of a painting - a painting that I could stare at for hours while my imagination roams.

  18. Happy Belated Birthday to all of your 36 years!