Monday, May 12, 2008
I spent the weekend chasing clouds, searching for starfish, and collecting beautiful treasures left behind by the generous sea. The ocean breathes deeply here...the crash and roll of the thundering waves lulled me to sleep at night, and the ins and outs of the tides kept time for me.
Pacific Rim National Park is about 4 hours away from Victoria, and when I get an opportunity to go to this magical place, there is no stopping me. I am drawn by it's incredible power. Pictures don't do this place justice, as it is too vast. You need to hear the ocean's roar, and taste the salt mist carried by the wind, and smell the cool crisp ocean air. You need to feel the fine powdery sand between your toes. You need to become invisible in the dense mist and watch as it swiftly clears away leaving you exposed in the immense blue openness. You need a complete 360 degree view to take it all in.
It gets in your bones. It gets in your soul.
I was invited to stay at this gorgeous beach house with good friends who feel like my second family. We shared many laughs, incredible food, surfing and drumming sessions, walks on the beach with lots of time and space for solitude.
When I come to a place like this, I get lost in thought. I start asking the big questions. Why am I here? What is all this for? The universe, the world, the ocean is so big...I feel so small. Am I at all significant in the whole great scheme of things? When it's grey and moody, the outgoing tide seems to pull the deeper emotions out of me. I watch the flashes of white spray as the waves crash into the rocks and I wonder why so many of us are so drawn to water. Is it because we originate from the sea? Is it because we are nestled in a warm watery womb for the first nine months of life? Do we remember on some deep subconscious level? Is it because the ocean is full of mystery? What's lurking down in the deep? What thrives in a place where we would surely drown? Water gives us life, but can also take life away. Why then is it so comforting?
I don't know if I can ever leave the ocean, now that I have lived near it. It has become such an essential part of me. When I come to this beautiful rugged coastline, I feel the need to be present every single waking moment so that I can absorb it, and carry it with me until the next time I am able to stay here. It never feels long enough. I can feel its gravitational pull on me, always.
I will return again in the summer months, when the sand and the air is warm. When the water takes on a deep deep blue hue. Stunning against the white of the breaking surf. And then again, in the winter...storm season, when the ocean is raging, and the wind could carry you away. I will soak it all up again and again and again...the anticipation is the only thing that keeps the longing tolerable.