Sunday, August 7, 2016

Coping Mechanisms

Summer has never been an easy time for me. It feels like the extrovert of the seasons... everything is brighter, bolder, hotter, louder. I've been trying for years to find my peace with it. I keep the blinds closed all morning until the sun tightropes across the rooftop and finds the other side. I chronically seek out the shade. I will hide indoors for hours until the party calms down.

The persisting sun seems to want constant attention... always in my eyes, always touching my skin with her hot hands, washing out the colour of my surroundings so she can stand out first and foremost. Despite my absolute love for rain (I found a name for this beautiful affliction....I am a pluviophile), I'm sure that if it rained every single day, I might actually miss the sun.... maybe. 

But I have indeed begun to make peace. The sun has a softer side to her personality. Like any complicated being, she is not static. While she likes to play hard most of the day, when she first wakes up and as she grows weary near dusk, I find the parts of her that are easier to get along with. 

It's the soft light I seek. In the early morning calm and the fleeting glow of day falling quietly into night. I can even find it mid-day if I know where to look... filtered, shaded, dappled... light that hums to a gentler drum. 

It always comes down to quality over quantity. And until summer gives way to fall, I will find the good in all things as best I can. But when that first leaf falls... I will be throwing the party.